Hello Again

Two and a half years. Not that bad, considering all the things that have happened since the last time I wrote. What a journey life is. And at almost 55 years of age, I really finally feel like I'm grasping the joy of life in all its shades and textures -- dark, bright, muted, smooth, rough, woven -- knowing that each one has its own beauty and worth.

I won't try to cover all the events of the last couple of years. But she's one of the things that happened.

Ella Faith. I absolutely adore her.

What I am going to try to do is be more consistent with my writing and I'm sure some of what's been going on will come out as I write. But I'm so thankful because I feel so inspired to write again, finally. I am so thankful to God for His faithfulness to me, that He has stuck by me in this journey, that I am experiencing hope again, seems like for the first time in almost a decade. If there's one thing I could pinpoint for this hope it is that God is kind and loving and sweet and completely in control. I know that is a common comment in Christian circles. But I've doubted it to the depth of my being and wrestled with it for no small period of time, and through it all I see it's true. I finally know it through experience. I'm so, so grateful.

So let's talk about where I've just been. Yep, you guessed it -- France! What a shock; right? Actually, I know I've got to start going other places, and I will, but I'm just so smitten with this country. I think it's because I'm getting familiar with her and that's attractive. And, of course, she definitely deserves my devotion. She never fails to deliver on her promise of varied and unparalleled beauty, delicious food, and a good history lesson!

So I was supposed to go with my friend Lorraine and we would meet Natalia in Paris, but she was planning on going standby and we knew that could happen or not, and at the last minute it didn't happen. So I headed out by myself, the first time ever that I've gone alone. I've come home alone but never gone there alone.

So I was a little nervous, but I did it! And only minutes after I found my hotel, my lovely daughter arrived! Boy, do I love her. We are best friends and what could be better than running around Paris together? Not much, I tell you! So we did.

And we also received a text from my friend Lorraine saying that she would be coming after all and would meet us at the hotel the next day! Fun, fun, fun!

Lorraine had never been to Paris to sightsee before, so we saw all the basics -- the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Shakespeare & Co., Arc de Triomphe, Louvre, and a boat ride on the Seine. All in a day and a half. We were movin'!

We also were introduced to Angelina's (by one of Natalia's old college friends who now lives in Paris), a 100-year-old tea house that has the BEST hot chocolate I've ever tasted. It's like drinking a chocolate bar.

The line was out the door and around the building but thankfully Natalia's friend had gotten there before us and had waited in the line. We just popped in with her when we got there and only waited about 20 minutes. It was worth it!

Oh, and Lorraine is a huge fan of Phantom of the Opera, which inspired both Natalia and I to read the book before we got there, and so of course we took a self-guided tour of the Paris Opera Garnier. It was stunning!

Box 5 is The Phantom's box, the second from the left of the stage. It was so fun to have read the book and then see where it all was supposed to have taken place.

We ended our stay in Paris by having a late lunch at Cafe Marco Polo. I had eaten there a few times before with John and remembered how wonderful it was, so we made our way over to it again. We were not disappointed! And Lorraine's mom had sent money with her to buy us lunch with, so we enjoyed our wine and food and toasted to Lolo for her generosity and good will! Then off to catch the train to Challans, which is another story in itself. Let's just say it involves running and no tickets and no connector train. But that will have to be told another time.

Tyson Lane Larson 1982-2010

I should have written this a lot earlier, before I was so exhausted from crying that I had the resources to say what I want to say.  But I will try anyway, because this day should not be wasted.  This opportunity to reflect, mourn, rejoice, remember, celebrate, needs to be taken advantage of. 

My nephew, Tyson Lane Larson, was killed in an accident in his lab one year ago today.  He was only 28 years old.  We are a close-knit family, with so many of our kids in the same local school that they were known to most of the student body as "the cousins."  He was my oldest sister's youngest son, who grew up alongside my oldest son.  They went to junior high and high school together, and eventually roomed together while they attended UCLA.  We were close. 

 Where do I begin to talk about Tyson?  Actually, it's not very difficult to know where to begin.  The adjectives are easy to list off.  Kind, compassionate, humble, selfless, brilliant, supportive, good natured, nonjudgmental, devoted, tender, positive, thoughtful, generous, disciplined, friendly, loving, caring, industrious, intelligent. 

He was a follower of Christ who lived what he believed.  And he really did.  I used to think he just had an easygoing personality and that's why he was so nice.  But if you ever saw him on the football, baseball, or soccer field and basketball court and witnessed the drive and determination and competitiveness he displayed, you knew he had passion.  He just worked to keep it under control and to never let it affect his relationships with people and his testimony for God.  After this past year of being without him, and hearing all the stories of the lives he quietly blessed and influenced, I realize that he lived purposefully.  You couldn't make that kind of impact if you didn't.

There were probably close to between 700 and 1,000 people at his funeral.  We were amazed at the people that came in a steady stream to give their sympathy and share their stories of Tyson's kindness.  It doesn't seem like that long ago and yet it seems like we've been missing him for so, so long.  I've watched his sweet, devoted wife continue to live without the love of her life by her side, all the while keeping her faith in the face of such a devastating loss.  I've watched my sister's and my brother-in-law's hearts break and yet be more concerned that God be glorified in this than they be pitied.  I've watched Ty's brother and sister be tender and faithful in the journey through their grief, still trusting God though the questions are unanswered.

Tyson is still inspiring us, me, even after he's gone because he invested in the things that mattered -- people, relationships.  He preached the truth with his life.  We all listened to his sermon.  Now I want to be not only a hearer of the word but a doer.  I'm so thankful that the hope of living a life like Ty did is not out of reach for someone like me.  It's available for anyone who is willing to allow the Spirit to fill and control them, lead and direct them, give them the proper perspective.  I'm inspired once again, and so thankful to my Lord Jesus Christ for the hope I have because of what He did for me.  And I thank Him for the gift of Tyson.  He made our lives so much better by being in them.

Love you and miss you, Ty.

Change

My daughter's little family is back in our home.  Sweet little family. We love them so much.  There are certainly changes I need to make in my schedule for having a quiet time and I'm working through how to arrange it.  I'm so thankful that I worked out some things with the Lord before they came because the lack of His love and interest in my life before would have made this transition harder.  But thankfully He so sweetly reminded me of His love through Mother's Day.  What a tender, loving Lord I have.  I want to grow in that love and grasp the width and length and height and depth of it.  Help me, Lord, as I seek to find time to be with You and to also not resent the change in my time structure.  I love You for the plan You have for my life.

Another Journey

I write my best when I'm writing about my travels.  A new place always inspires me.  But I haven't been writing much lately for a variety of reasons, none of them because I haven't been traveling.  Life seems to be more busy now than ever, even though I thought once the kids left home I would have time to burn.  I'm struggling with a few things in my life right now, but one major issue is my weight.  I've always struggled with it, either with actually being overweight or feeling like I am.

So I was thinking about it on my drive home today and I had an idea.  What if I treat my quest for balance in my eating habits and weight loss goals as a journey, a "travel" of sorts, and document it here as I would any other journey?  Maybe this could be helpful for me because I could use it as a place to work through my "issues."

So I'm my making my reservation and buying my ticket.  I'm leaving tomorrow.  I will do my best to journal my thoughts and efforts on the road to a healthier self-image and a little weight loss on the side.  I'm going to need the Lord's help in so many aspects of this because consistency in anything, for one, is not my strong suit.  I am an all-or-nothing girl, either over-achieving or totally checking out. 

We'll see what kind of a trip I'll have, the people and attitudes that help me on my way, and hopefully more steps forward than back.

Gotta go.  I'm packing my bags.

It Pays to Discover

And I don't mean the credit card.

This is the man I've had the privilege to know for 40 years now, being married to him for 30 of those years!  He is my most honest critic and my biggest fan.  He stuck by me when we were both too young to have the baggage we were nonethless carrying, and willingly gave me room while God has graciously and patiently helped me in my efforts to lose that baggage.  He has worked hard to become the best husband, father, and grandfather he could be, and I am a thankful beneficiary.

I am overwhelmed by the gift he has been to me, and how our experiences have been woven together by our gracious God to become to us a beautiful and valuable tapestry of life.  It truly does pay to discover. 

Fall Cooking

I am not a cook.  I know that.  How do I know that?  I know real cooks, and I am nothing like them.  My daughter is a cook.  My best friend is a cook.

They get excited over William-Sonoma and Sur la Table catalogs.  They love to pore over cookbooks.   Their favorite possessions are a wire whisk (in the case of my friend) and a grater (in the case of my daughter).  I can't fault them for any of it, though, because of course I get the benefits of their labor (although it usually is accompanied by additional pounds, unfortunately). 

Both of them have introduced me to things I would have NEVER experienced otherwise and given me tips that makes me look like I know what I'm doing even though I don't!  And hey, they introduced me to my beloved onion goggles.  (Don't ask me why I'm making that face!)

Tonight I decided to make roasted butternut squash soup.  I have never even bought a butternut squash before, much less tried to cook something edible with one.  But I dove in, and I have to say, I'm pretty proud of the outcome.  The squash cooked up beautifully and looked like someone experienced had done it!

I'm going to make soup out of it.  I'll let you know how it turns out.

My Office